A list of resolutions – all active, external. Personal quality improvement being a matter for silent conscious effort, I think right now –
In 2014, I would like to:
1. walk more paths, climb more hills, pick about over beaches with more frequency.
2. send my work out more. 2013 has been a year of tenuousness. Actually, almost every year I send out few short stories and poems, worried I am being too vain. And after the hard bump of having to let go of my agent, necessity requires the search for a new person who will connect with my work. I always pay close attention to biographies of agents and editors of small presses, never wanting to waste anyone’s time. Small batch works of letters go out. Just, more of that, for the next however many months. More dutiful efforts, until the book catches someone’s eye.
3. finish a good draft of the third work by the end of the year. My favourite sort of resolution is the one I can’t help but enjoy (and be infuriated by).
4. take more photos on real film. I’ve sent my old Centon k100 camera to be repaired (the battery casing eroded). It should be back within the week. Black little weight, with film coming in the post for it. I’m planning on taking it with me to Rome, where D and I are going for his birthday, from the end of January. So expect scans. I’ll continue to take Polaroids and upload them too.
5. apply for more things – related to my reluctance to send out work is the fact that, since I started writing seriously, I’ve hardly applied for anything. but Banff might have turned me around on this – it was such a wonderful, reality-shaking experience. Grants too would be incredibly helpful – for this third project there is still a few bits of research the book could stand to have done for it Why shouldn’t I be a little more fantastical, take a few more chances? More applications then. More deference to fortune. From this, more hope and possible freedom for future writing.
Looking back, I really just want hope for 2014. I want to put my efforts in without prejudice and to have the energy for enjoyment too. I cannot control anything else in this life, but I can frame my time in the ways I am able, and I can grit my teeth, smile, muck in.
What are your resolutions, oaths, vague wishes, hungry needs, for the year to come?